Call to Moms of Boys!!!!

We need to help our boys!
We need to have our boys know that they are good human beings!

With all the news of rape this past few days it is appalling the rape culture we live in. The confusion between what is and isn't consent. The lack of respect for another person just is wrong.

As mothers of boys we have a responsibility to raise up boys that quash this stereo type. We have to talk to our boys. We need to love them and we need to show them how to love others. We need to teach them about respect for them selves and others. We have to tell them that they are responsible for their actions, right from an early age.

It more then teaching them about sex and that when a girl says no to stop. It is so much more than that. The respect needs to start before. It is not just about saying no or yes it is about the respect that is mutually there before sex even come up.

We have a stigma that needs to be changed and it needs to change with the boys. For years we have been attacking girls telling them that they must act differently, dress differently, just be different so they didn't lure our men into situations where they would rape them. Yes things need to change, but how about giving our men some control and telling them that they are responsible. I don't know of a woman who gets dressed in the morning with the thought of " This is so going to get me raped, this is what I am going to wear today!"

Accountability needs to be on both parties some times but really there needs to be a really big change on the male half. They need to know that no matter how much money they spend how much they are attracted to her, there is never NEVER EVER an excuse to take something that does not belong to you. Just to also clarify, since we don't have slavery, she doesn't belong to you!

Moms we need to help our boys. They are going into a world where in general it is believed that all men are potential rapists. How are we going to hep them? We can start by opening the conversation NOW! Talk to them about what is going on. It is a reality and you can't hide it. If you don't talk, someone else will and it wont always be the message you want. We need to encourage them to stand up for injustices, we need need to let them know that being a good person is good. We need to stop putting our head in the sand and thinking that it will never happen. We need to respect and love our sons enough to talk to them about this. They need to learn about sex and what is really is. We need to change this rape culture so that women can stop living in fear and men can been seen as respectable individuals.

Now I am going to have to put it out there that yes I am aware that rape goes both ways but the stats are far against the men. The discussion should be with both girls and boys, but as a mom of boys I am very passionate about working to change this world where you can effect change. I can effect change with my sons. I encourage you to do the same with your children. You will each have your own set of values and morals that works for your family. I would prefer to teach my children to wait till they can see themselves being with some that they would want to raise a family with. Everyone is different and will raise their children with their own values, but the conversation needs to start.

Sex should not be hidden away in the family setting, children should know that they can come with questions. They should have a safe environment to talk in, where they know they will get honest answers. If you don't talk they will seek out the answers, through peers and the internet. Children are resourceful they will find the answers but will they be the answers you want them to find?

Have you opened the discussion in your home?

For a Real Change!

By now most of the modern world has heard about the tragedy of Amanda Todd. A young British Columbian girl who took her life last Wednesday, as a final escape from the torment others were putting her through. The kind of bullying this poor child had to endure, was awful. She had made some mistakes as a child, unfortunately they had very long lasting effects, her mistakes followed her, because we as a society allowed them to follow her.

In the days of all this cyber bullying you simply can not get away from it. Once a photo or video is out there is is out there for ever.  Even if you personally delete it some one may have already taken a copy. Though there could have been a stop to the torment and bullying. If people stopped "sharing" before they think, maybe this could have been stopped. If we as a society said no! No more, this was something that happened in the past lets move on.

When I was in school the internet was really just starting to catch on. There was nothing like Facebook, closest you got was Myspace. When someone made a mistake you were at times judged and picked on, but the once it got old it usually stopped. If it was so bad that you had to move schools very rarely would it follow you. Now though, simple click and shares, run your torment not just through your personal life but the entire world.

Still even after this poor child has done away with her life to try and get away from this, now her family is having to endure the torture. Every day there are new groups of people, commeters, who are keeping the violence going. Harsh words like "drama queen", "Glad she is dead", "slut", "she deserved it", are still continuing to be said. This is awful and brings tears to my eyes and pain in my heart. I can only begin to imagine what her mother feels reading these words about her lovely baby girl. This needs to stop and there needs to be a real change. It needs to start in the home, in all of our homes.

We need to change our world and our views. We need to not just say " stop bullying" or wear a pink shirt. We need to think, think about our actions. Think about the words we say to our children and each other.

We need to stop judging others where we may have also failed. We need to stop allowing victims to keep being victimized. We need to stop the continual cycle of saying it's okay and that you were justified in what you said.

We need to speak to our children in ways that teach them how to speak to others. We should not abuse our spouses or others around us. We need to model the behavior we want our children to show. If we want our children to use kind words and appropriated language to other then we should use it towards then. Our words need to start showing in our actions. We need to lift up, instead of pull down.

I have been a victim of bullies, school yard bullies and a bullies in my very own home. I know the pain of having someone tell you that the world would be better off if you were dead. I have been hit, threatened, screamed at, and made to feel like nothing is worth living. I have been to the brink of thinking about ending it. It is no a fun or joyous place to be. It is dark and very scary. The physical scar is faded but the one on my heart may never truly heal. I am now in a place where those thought are not permitted in my mind because I know right now what I have to live for, that I matter.

Though for a young child a teenager who is tormented sometimes when enough people make you feel like shit and just keep telling you to die. That looks like a real option. Please change you attitudes, change your words. This does not have to happen anymore. It doesn't matter why they are being bullied, it  NEEDS TO STOP. 

This starts right now with me, and can continue to you. Are you just going to say the words or are you actually going to make a change in this world?

The Challenge and YOU

Have you ever wanted to do something, to change your situation? Not know how to start or where to go?  Are you needing a direction to go?

First figure out what you really want and break it down. What is it that you really want? Be specific! Vague goals are hard to meet.
I want to lose weight! Great how much, what are the inches you would like to lose? What do you look like at the end of you goal? Are you willing to work for your goal?
I want to be debt free! Great how much money do you need to do that? Can you possibly do that in your current J.O.B?  What are you willing to do to reach that goal?
I want to ......? Wonderful what needs to change to get there? Money, health, or is it time?

There is always something that needs to be changed. Change is good, change brings opportunity to look at life in a new light.

Now lets break it down. Why can't you change you situation? What is it that is holding you back? Really most things can change. Do you not have any time to do anything because you need money, so you are working all the time. This sounds like a declining cycle. Are you unhealthy and have low energy but you want to do something but you feel too crappy about yourself, so you sit there eating comfort junk just getting in worse shape?

Yes it is hard to change and it takes time to commit to that change. It sucks I know. Though if you truly need to change take control. Stop letting others decide your future. Take on the Challenge. You can do it! You can succeed. It starts with taking that step and believing in yourself.

Now some people don't want to make the change. That is their choice, but YOU CAN! You don't need their permission to live a better happier more financially free life.

Get Happy Get Healthy Get Freedom

Get started NOW

Oh and on a side note. It has been said that this may cause babies, no gaurentees. You know what the leading cause of babies is? SEX, yup, healthy happier people might just have more sex. So if you are looking for a little more lovin' the challenge could be for you ;)