Monday, October 15, 2012

For a Real Change!

By now most of the modern world has heard about the tragedy of Amanda Todd. A young British Columbian girl who took her life last Wednesday, as a final escape from the torment others were putting her through. The kind of bullying this poor child had to endure, was awful. She had made some mistakes as a child, unfortunately they had very long lasting effects, her mistakes followed her, because we as a society allowed them to follow her.

In the days of all this cyber bullying you simply can not get away from it. Once a photo or video is out there is is out there for ever.  Even if you personally delete it some one may have already taken a copy. Though there could have been a stop to the torment and bullying. If people stopped "sharing" before they think, maybe this could have been stopped. If we as a society said no! No more, this was something that happened in the past lets move on.

When I was in school the internet was really just starting to catch on. There was nothing like Facebook, closest you got was Myspace. When someone made a mistake you were at times judged and picked on, but the once it got old it usually stopped. If it was so bad that you had to move schools very rarely would it follow you. Now though, simple click and shares, run your torment not just through your personal life but the entire world.

Still even after this poor child has done away with her life to try and get away from this, now her family is having to endure the torture. Every day there are new groups of people, commeters, who are keeping the violence going. Harsh words like "drama queen", "Glad she is dead", "slut", "she deserved it", are still continuing to be said. This is awful and brings tears to my eyes and pain in my heart. I can only begin to imagine what her mother feels reading these words about her lovely baby girl. This needs to stop and there needs to be a real change. It needs to start in the home, in all of our homes.

We need to change our world and our views. We need to not just say " stop bullying" or wear a pink shirt. We need to think, think about our actions. Think about the words we say to our children and each other.

We need to stop judging others where we may have also failed. We need to stop allowing victims to keep being victimized. We need to stop the continual cycle of saying it's okay and that you were justified in what you said.

We need to speak to our children in ways that teach them how to speak to others. We should not abuse our spouses or others around us. We need to model the behavior we want our children to show. If we want our children to use kind words and appropriated language to other then we should use it towards then. Our words need to start showing in our actions. We need to lift up, instead of pull down.

I have been a victim of bullies, school yard bullies and a bullies in my very own home. I know the pain of having someone tell you that the world would be better off if you were dead. I have been hit, threatened, screamed at, and made to feel like nothing is worth living. I have been to the brink of thinking about ending it. It is no a fun or joyous place to be. It is dark and very scary. The physical scar is faded but the one on my heart may never truly heal. I am now in a place where those thought are not permitted in my mind because I know right now what I have to live for, that I matter.

Though for a young child a teenager who is tormented sometimes when enough people make you feel like shit and just keep telling you to die. That looks like a real option. Please change you attitudes, change your words. This does not have to happen anymore. It doesn't matter why they are being bullied, it  NEEDS TO STOP. 

This starts right now with me, and can continue to you. Are you just going to say the words or are you actually going to make a change in this world?


  1. I would also encourage parents to INSIST on knowing your child's password and visiting their social sites regularly. My kids know that if I can't get on their facebook, twitter or other accounts, I will change the password so they can't get online at all AND withdraw permission for online access at school.

    Parents, your kids NEED you to be nosy! (Not blaming Amanda's parents, I just believe that parents are still the best help!)

    1. yes but while being nosy can be helpful at the same time you need to have open communication with your child. In this day and age it is too easy for kids to have multiple accounts. One for mom and dad to see and one for their own personal use.
      It is an unfortunate condition of being too nosy, sometimes kids want to have their stuff private. this is when problem can get worse. Open communication can help against this. talking to your child about what they are doing, not just seeing what your child is doing.

  2. The entire situation is just so sad! That's why my kids are not on social media, they have no email address, no cell phones because this is how it starts. We just need to pray for these poor children who gets bullied on a daily basis, it is just sad that people want to hurt each other with words or pictures!

  3. It is unbelievable how cruel people can be. Good job writing about this. We do live in a very dark world, and only God has brought me through some of my trials. Peace to you.

  4. I can't believe this entire situation. It is just heartbreaking. I'm with Karen above though...wholeheartedly. I honestly cannot get over what the kids are doing these days; this from a mother of a teenager. I watch her twitter feed, do not allow a fb account and also watch the feeds of those around her. You have to.
    I hope her life was not taken in vain and that kids learn from this. I really do.

  5. This is just terribly sad. I also have my children's passwords to their social media and also a spy program on the computer. This way if she deletes something before I get to it, it will still pop up with hidden screen shots. I actually caught the start of her being bullied on there and got it nipped in the bud before it became a big problem.

  6. That is so sad. Kids (and adults) can be so cruel. October is Bullying Prevention Awareness Month, so glad you posted this. The adults need to stand up and put an end to bullying some how so no other kids have to die :(

    Stopping by from VoiceBoks!