We need to help our boys!
We need to have our boys know that they are good human beings!
With all the news of rape this past few days it is appalling the rape culture we live in. The confusion between what is and isn't consent. The lack of respect for another person just is wrong.
As mothers of boys we have a responsibility to raise up boys that quash this stereo type. We have to talk to our boys. We need to love them and we need to show them how to love others. We need to teach them about respect for them selves and others. We have to tell them that they are responsible for their actions, right from an early age.
It more then teaching them about sex and that when a girl says no to stop. It is so much more than that. The respect needs to start before. It is not just about saying no or yes it is about the respect that is mutually there before sex even come up.
We have a stigma that needs to be changed and it needs to change with the boys. For years we have been attacking girls telling them that they must act differently, dress differently, just be different so they didn't lure our men into situations where they would rape them. Yes things need to change, but how about giving our men some control and telling them that they are responsible. I don't know of a woman who gets dressed in the morning with the thought of " This is so going to get me raped, this is what I am going to wear today!"
Accountability needs to be on both parties some times but really there needs to be a really big change on the male half. They need to know that no matter how much money they spend how much they are attracted to her, there is never NEVER EVER an excuse to take something that does not belong to you. Just to also clarify, since we don't have slavery, she doesn't belong to you!
Moms we need to help our boys. They are going into a world where in general it is believed that all men are potential rapists. How are we going to hep them? We can start by opening the conversation NOW! Talk to them about what is going on. It is a reality and you can't hide it. If you don't talk, someone else will and it wont always be the message you want. We need to encourage them to stand up for injustices, we need need to let them know that being a good person is good. We need to stop putting our head in the sand and thinking that it will never happen. We need to respect and love our sons enough to talk to them about this. They need to learn about sex and what is really is. We need to change this rape culture so that women can stop living in fear and men can been seen as respectable individuals.
Now I am going to have to put it out there that yes I am aware that rape goes both ways but the stats are far against the men. The discussion should be with both girls and boys, but as a mom of boys I am very passionate about working to change this world where you can effect change. I can effect change with my sons. I encourage you to do the same with your children. You will each have your own set of values and morals that works for your family. I would prefer to teach my children to wait till they can see themselves being with some that they would want to raise a family with. Everyone is different and will raise their children with their own values, but the conversation needs to start.
Sex should not be hidden away in the family setting, children should know that they can come with questions. They should have a safe environment to talk in, where they know they will get honest answers. If you don't talk they will seek out the answers, through peers and the internet. Children are resourceful they will find the answers but will they be the answers you want them to find?
Have you opened the discussion in your home?
Showing posts with label mommy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mommy. Show all posts
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Taming the Toddler Temper Tantrum
Have you ever been so full of emotion that you have no idea what to do? Have you ever felt so completely helpless like nothing you do is ever right? Have you ever wanted something that you are just not allowed to have and you have no idea why?
Life can be a very difficult thing to live. Nothing seems fair, there are rules and rules for rules. Sometime you never find out about the rules until you have broken them. People have expectations that many times seem way beyond you reach. You just want to enjoy life, you just want to have a little fun, you just really want what that other person has!
Welcome to life as toddler. You have a ton of things going on in your world that sometimes they can be overwhelming. You are often not allowed to do something that you want to. "NO" in many cases is a word you hear usually more then your own name. Life is hard, you can walk now and get to so many places but everything is challenging and new. You want to climb and explore, you want to see what all is in those mysterious cupboard that mommy always opens. That toys, you want to know why that kids likes it so much, so you take it.
But so very often you are not allowed to do. People yell words at you like " NO","not yours!", "danger", "owie" and many other such things that are supposed to stop you in the act. Often though the lure of what you are trying to do is much more powerful then the desire to listen to the big people. Sometimes you just want to do what you want to do. You are tried of being stopped and you want to see just what are they going to do about it? Sure they are bigger but how are they really going to stop you?
Now that is the big question. How are you going to stop this little person and what are you going to do about the temper tantrum that follows?
That is the dilemma of every parent, dealing with a child who has does something wrong, or at least what we are seeing as wrong. What do you really do though? You know forcing them to stop will likely start the temper tantrum, but leaving them might not be an option.
First thing first you have to figure out if this is really as big of an issue as you are making of it. You need to tame your temper tantrum first. That knee jerk reaction where you just want to yell and pull the child quickly away is most likely an adult temper tantrum. You are angry about something. If you want your child to learn to control their emotions you need to lead by example. This is challenging and we all mess up but that is why it is a learning experience, don't be to proud to say you are sorry for your reactions.
Now that you have dealt with your personal reaction what are you going to do about the child. First you need to gauge whether or not this is a danger that must be stopped immediately or could this be spun and turned into a learning experience? Could you leave this allowing your child to feel empowered?
If it is dangerous clearly you are going to need to remove your child from the situation. Climbing something that could fall and seriously hurt them. Running into traffic, trying to insert themselves into the hot oven or even helping with the dishes by grabbing the biggest knife possible. BUT freaking out and yelling and jumping up and down or hitting the child is not going to help them learn. You need to remain calm. Big reactions get big responses. A big response is not going to stop or prevent a temper tantrum and help the child to learn what the problem is.
Now some people will argue that a sharp shout or a quick swat, teaches kids that that is dangerous and scary. Sure it could be the likeliness is they are going to learn that when they do that YOU are now scary. I would like to hope that your desire as a parent is not to frighten your child into submission. If it is I feel very sad for your child.
But what do you do, what can you do? First you can talk to your child. Simple and concisely, tell them exactly what the problem is. Not a five minute lecture, with small children you have 10-30 seconds to get their attention or they will find something else that will interest them.
Now with young child you may feel like you are talking till you are blue in the face. If you feel like that you are talking to much. Simple short statements. " Not yours" "gentle touches" " put it back" Short simple instructions can help save your sanity.
Now sometimes the child simply wont listen to you. We run into this a lot in the toddler years. This little person will stare you down almost challenging you to make them. Now what? I like to use counting. I explain to them that I will count to 5 and if they have not done what I have asked I will help them get it done. The trick is to remain calm, don't frighten your child into do what they need to do. If by the time I reach 5 if it has been done I take the child gently and fulfill the request. their hands will do the work but I will be a guide to get it done. I try not to yell or freak out. It is not always easy but it can be much more effective if I'm not over reacting to what they are doing.
Now when goes from defiance to a full on melt down, I work at being present for my children most of the time when they are feeling big emotions. They may needs to scream kick and yell but I will usually be there for them. I will though not allow them to hurt me. If their anger is being physical towards me I will simply state the their action is hurting me and move away. If they move to continue I will move myself away and if need be separate There is no shame in an adult time out. If you are feeling the need to lash out and hurt your child you need to remove yourself. Still remember to talk to your child and let them know what you are doing. Tell them that they are hurting you and you need a few moments away from them. They will likley follow you, as they are needing a connection from you, but boundaries do need to be set. Which is why I suggest telling them what you are doing. * now please not this may not be available to you if you are out, but find some way that you can give yourself a calm down mode. Even if it mean abandoning your half full cart in the middle of shopping. going to your car and placing the child inside and you outside maybe be what you need to do*
Try to remember to avoid common trigger, hunger and sleepiness. with keeping these needs addressed you can avoid many many melt downs.
Love is important, love is not conditional on good behavior. Love should always be 100% unconditional The statement. " I love you but...." should be wiped from your vocabulary. There should never be a condition on the love you have for your child. Your child does not rule you, nor do you rule your child. You are equals but you are given the privilege of rearing this individual. You are a guide in a big scary world, you are supposed to be the safe place that they can return to when the world rears it's big ugly head.
Toddler temper tantrums are not fun for anyone. They are a big giant over load of information into a little brain that doesn't know how to process them. We have the same feeling as adults but many of us have been given the tools to learn how to deal with the big stuff. Look at the tantrum as a teaching moment. While it may be driving you crazy, and you just want them to listen to you, remember they are still young. They don't come programmed, you have to teach inspire and guide your child.
Life can be a very difficult thing to live. Nothing seems fair, there are rules and rules for rules. Sometime you never find out about the rules until you have broken them. People have expectations that many times seem way beyond you reach. You just want to enjoy life, you just want to have a little fun, you just really want what that other person has!
But so very often you are not allowed to do. People yell words at you like " NO","not yours!", "danger", "owie" and many other such things that are supposed to stop you in the act. Often though the lure of what you are trying to do is much more powerful then the desire to listen to the big people. Sometimes you just want to do what you want to do. You are tried of being stopped and you want to see just what are they going to do about it? Sure they are bigger but how are they really going to stop you?
Now that is the big question. How are you going to stop this little person and what are you going to do about the temper tantrum that follows?
That is the dilemma of every parent, dealing with a child who has does something wrong, or at least what we are seeing as wrong. What do you really do though? You know forcing them to stop will likely start the temper tantrum, but leaving them might not be an option.
First thing first you have to figure out if this is really as big of an issue as you are making of it. You need to tame your temper tantrum first. That knee jerk reaction where you just want to yell and pull the child quickly away is most likely an adult temper tantrum. You are angry about something. If you want your child to learn to control their emotions you need to lead by example. This is challenging and we all mess up but that is why it is a learning experience, don't be to proud to say you are sorry for your reactions.
Now that you have dealt with your personal reaction what are you going to do about the child. First you need to gauge whether or not this is a danger that must be stopped immediately or could this be spun and turned into a learning experience? Could you leave this allowing your child to feel empowered?
If it is dangerous clearly you are going to need to remove your child from the situation. Climbing something that could fall and seriously hurt them. Running into traffic, trying to insert themselves into the hot oven or even helping with the dishes by grabbing the biggest knife possible. BUT freaking out and yelling and jumping up and down or hitting the child is not going to help them learn. You need to remain calm. Big reactions get big responses. A big response is not going to stop or prevent a temper tantrum and help the child to learn what the problem is.
Now some people will argue that a sharp shout or a quick swat, teaches kids that that is dangerous and scary. Sure it could be the likeliness is they are going to learn that when they do that YOU are now scary. I would like to hope that your desire as a parent is not to frighten your child into submission. If it is I feel very sad for your child.
But what do you do, what can you do? First you can talk to your child. Simple and concisely, tell them exactly what the problem is. Not a five minute lecture, with small children you have 10-30 seconds to get their attention or they will find something else that will interest them.
Now with young child you may feel like you are talking till you are blue in the face. If you feel like that you are talking to much. Simple short statements. " Not yours" "gentle touches" " put it back" Short simple instructions can help save your sanity.
Now when goes from defiance to a full on melt down, I work at being present for my children most of the time when they are feeling big emotions. They may needs to scream kick and yell but I will usually be there for them. I will though not allow them to hurt me. If their anger is being physical towards me I will simply state the their action is hurting me and move away. If they move to continue I will move myself away and if need be separate There is no shame in an adult time out. If you are feeling the need to lash out and hurt your child you need to remove yourself. Still remember to talk to your child and let them know what you are doing. Tell them that they are hurting you and you need a few moments away from them. They will likley follow you, as they are needing a connection from you, but boundaries do need to be set. Which is why I suggest telling them what you are doing. * now please not this may not be available to you if you are out, but find some way that you can give yourself a calm down mode. Even if it mean abandoning your half full cart in the middle of shopping. going to your car and placing the child inside and you outside maybe be what you need to do*
Try to remember to avoid common trigger, hunger and sleepiness. with keeping these needs addressed you can avoid many many melt downs.
Love is important, love is not conditional on good behavior. Love should always be 100% unconditional The statement. " I love you but...." should be wiped from your vocabulary. There should never be a condition on the love you have for your child. Your child does not rule you, nor do you rule your child. You are equals but you are given the privilege of rearing this individual. You are a guide in a big scary world, you are supposed to be the safe place that they can return to when the world rears it's big ugly head.
Toddler temper tantrums are not fun for anyone. They are a big giant over load of information into a little brain that doesn't know how to process them. We have the same feeling as adults but many of us have been given the tools to learn how to deal with the big stuff. Look at the tantrum as a teaching moment. While it may be driving you crazy, and you just want them to listen to you, remember they are still young. They don't come programmed, you have to teach inspire and guide your child.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
My kids would never......
Admit it you have thought it. Your kids are always so much better behaved then ( insert names ) kids. You know they are just better all around, because you are a far better parent. Now do you seriously believe that? That you are so much better then they are? Really?
Sometimes I know it is hard to not compare our kids with someone else's. Especially when your children are doing the opposite of the other person's. I know I am guilty of it. Now I have been on both sides of the issue. Sometimes the boys are WILD and I am sooooo embarrassed. I have no idea what has gotten into them but someone must of slipped them crazy pills. Those were honestly earlier days in my parenting when I didn't realize that sometimes kids are just crazy, I still have moments when I feel so hot with embarrassment but that is my own issue not theirs. I'm sure people think my children at times are just wild nut balls and I don't care about how they behave. I'm sure some people think I'm too lenient on them, on the flip side I'm sure there are times when people think I am too hard on them..
I am a big believe of " place and time", for most behaviors there is a place and time. They are just children after all and learning the world that they live in. They have little bodies that desire to move, a lot. They have brains that desire to be filled with knowledge, so they seek out new experiences and want to know about everything around them. They have amazing imaginations, so there are a lot more wonders in their world.
There are a few things where I do stand my ground with my children. They will be kind and inculsive, I have run into times when they don't want to play with a particular child. I will pull my child aside and ask them 1st why the don't want to play with them? 2nd if they would like to be treated this way. Now if the other child is being unkind and that is why my child doesn't want to play that is understandable. I will though if it seems to be a problem encourage my child to approach the other child and see if something can be worked out. Now at time i will need to mediate remember my children are still young. These though are life skills, these are needed to be leaned. So when I see a parent being totally okay ith their child being rude and intentionally excluding, I definitely get a " my child would never behave like that ".
Another is speaking disrespectfully, now it has happened a few times where on of the children have been sassy and rude, but I deal with it and if they choose to be like that then they choose to not be in the situation. Hateful mean words & tone are not needed. There is usually an amicable way to deal with whatever the situation is. It is though the parents I see who continually allow their children to spew hate at them or others and not do anything about it. No acknowledgement of wrong doing or how they are hurting another person with their words. I really shake my head. now it is not my place to judge as I may be witnessing something that has come to a head and it just can't be dealt with at that moment or it could be disastrous Though I do find it happening more and more. Kindness, love and respect seem to be things of the past, relics almost. Yes though when I hear children spewing at their parents that they hate them or even clearly controlling their parents will with the child's attitude I will do a " my kids would never..."
Now I'm not perfect, heck far from it but I parent with love and respect. I will always love my children, I know that they love me to even when they are mad. Sometimes we don't know how to deal with our children and their behaviors Sometimes we believe that a parenting class should be required to have children With on going training, because we know that sometimes the on the job training sucks. I hope we are all doing the best we can with the tools we are given. We don't always know everyone's story, but we can help them create new chapters in their books. So maybe next time you seem someone struggling with their children instead of thinking " my kid's would never be such awful horrible little beings, their mother must let run all over her!" Ask her if she needs a hand, be a friend. maybe even smile and think good thought about her and her children and wish her the best.
So what about you, Have you ever had a " my kids would never....."
Sometimes I know it is hard to not compare our kids with someone else's. Especially when your children are doing the opposite of the other person's. I know I am guilty of it. Now I have been on both sides of the issue. Sometimes the boys are WILD and I am sooooo embarrassed. I have no idea what has gotten into them but someone must of slipped them crazy pills. Those were honestly earlier days in my parenting when I didn't realize that sometimes kids are just crazy, I still have moments when I feel so hot with embarrassment but that is my own issue not theirs. I'm sure people think my children at times are just wild nut balls and I don't care about how they behave. I'm sure some people think I'm too lenient on them, on the flip side I'm sure there are times when people think I am too hard on them..
I am a big believe of " place and time", for most behaviors there is a place and time. They are just children after all and learning the world that they live in. They have little bodies that desire to move, a lot. They have brains that desire to be filled with knowledge, so they seek out new experiences and want to know about everything around them. They have amazing imaginations, so there are a lot more wonders in their world.
There are a few things where I do stand my ground with my children. They will be kind and inculsive, I have run into times when they don't want to play with a particular child. I will pull my child aside and ask them 1st why the don't want to play with them? 2nd if they would like to be treated this way. Now if the other child is being unkind and that is why my child doesn't want to play that is understandable. I will though if it seems to be a problem encourage my child to approach the other child and see if something can be worked out. Now at time i will need to mediate remember my children are still young. These though are life skills, these are needed to be leaned. So when I see a parent being totally okay ith their child being rude and intentionally excluding, I definitely get a " my child would never behave like that ".
Now I'm not perfect, heck far from it but I parent with love and respect. I will always love my children, I know that they love me to even when they are mad. Sometimes we don't know how to deal with our children and their behaviors Sometimes we believe that a parenting class should be required to have children With on going training, because we know that sometimes the on the job training sucks. I hope we are all doing the best we can with the tools we are given. We don't always know everyone's story, but we can help them create new chapters in their books. So maybe next time you seem someone struggling with their children instead of thinking " my kid's would never be such awful horrible little beings, their mother must let run all over her!" Ask her if she needs a hand, be a friend. maybe even smile and think good thought about her and her children and wish her the best.
So what about you, Have you ever had a " my kids would never....."
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
2012 What a year!
What a year :) So much has happened in our little family is the last year.
Thinking back and reflecting on 2012. Lil Squish celebrated his first birthday and has learned so many things. He can walk, talk use a spoon, fork and a cup. He is so full of fun and it has been an amazing time, 
In April a series of events lead Hubby to getting surgery on his ankle for a bone infection, that I guess he has had for years. We are so lucky that it was finally diagnosed and the issue has been solved. So happy that he has been pain free since then, which hopefully means no more flare ups.
This summer was truly amazing it started off with the Stampede and the 100 year celebration. Bug got to ride in the parade with Great Grandpa. We also got to go to the Ponoka Stampeded with Grandpa, the boys had so much fun with that. We we on rides, played some games and had a blast. Nothing quite like partying cowboy style!
After a few weeks with family in Alberta we headed home to prepare for the Epic Extravaganza. What else could you call a 17 day road trip with three children across Canada and the upper USA! 4 provinces and I think 13 states we crossed while driving. We started off the trip with Hubby and mine 10 year high school reunion, and some fun on the lake. . Saw my sisters, they both live far away from me, and their kids. Saw Hubby's Dad & his little family,stayed with them for a few days.We went to Niagara Falls, one of my bucket list places, we even took a ride on the maid of the mist 
We stopped to see Mount Rushmore, or the "Mountain Men" as I called the last time I saw them ( I was 4 I think) Next to Yellowstone, where we got to see Old Faithful, and buffalo. At both National parks the boys worked towards their Junior Ranger badges, and still talk about them to this day. 
Then we stopped in Salt Lake city for the night to see the temple, So thrilled to be able to have been there as a member this time. Hopefully next time we go we can spend more time. We camped along the way with the children and yes the baby stayed in his cloth diapers for the trek. ( I have that many and with the stops at family I was able to do laundry )
Then fall came, back to reality..... and packing. You see before we left on the Epic Extravaganza we found a new home, A place that was going to meet our need more fullyI celebrated my birthday.I harvested my first successful garden. :)Then the move, I thankfully went off without a hitch. Next came the Bug and BoBo's birthdays, wow 6 & 4 I can barely believe it. November then December and I can barely believe it is over again. We have done so much this year but it still feels like 2012 just started.
I'm looking forward to 2013, I'm sure it will be amazing. We have plans and goals, I hope it works out for the best :)
Thursday, December 27, 2012
Does post Christmas get you down?
The presents are opened. Thank yous are exchanged. The turkey dinner is done. The friends and family have gone home There should be a feeling of peace and happiness from everyone. Tis the season of good tiddings and all!
But there isn't :(
The phenomenon that I have heard referred to as "The Christmas Letdown"
There is so much build up to Christmas months of prep hours shopping. Time spent decorating and planning, all leading up to one day. The when it is done..... now what?
Often I heard people say "never again". Though the reality is we are creatures of habit, we'll do it again just like last year and the year before.
Why do we have this desire to have one day of the year filled with presents and glitz and so much stuff? Does it make us happier? Maybe for the day but how long does it last? Far too many people have stuff of Christmas day then run out boxing day and buy more stuff. Or exchange what you didn't like to get something better.
Then you have stuff. Does the stuff make you happy? Does it fill you life with joy? Maybe it does for for now but in a week will it still be the best thing ever?
We really worked hard on decreasing the stuff this year. We didn't make a big deal over Christmas stuff we focused on what was important, FAMILY. It may have been just us but it was one of the best days we have had in awhile. I didn't stress over a fancy dinner, we had meatloaf.
We kept gifts to a minimum and they were mostly useful gifts, books, watches, blankets, PJ's and a few small toys. Honestly unwrapping was done in like 45 minutes. The kids were happy they got what they had wanted. I suppose I'm lucky that they didn't want much. ( definitely an advantage to no TV and homeschooling :) )
We are fortunate that our families are very understanding about our desire to keep the stuff to a minimum. They understand our desire for memories and quality over quantity. :)
Do I feel a sadness that Christmas is over? No. Why not? Because other then a few extra presents, snow and Christmas carols, and a tree we didn't do really anything major. Christmas will come again and I will continue to keep it stress free.
Maybe next year there will be a big dinner but I don't get stressed about having people over either. I enjoy good tidings and fun.
Avoid the Christmas let down by keeping things normal and keep your focus on what is important. The stuff isn't, the people and memories are!
But there isn't :(
The phenomenon that I have heard referred to as "The Christmas Letdown"
There is so much build up to Christmas months of prep hours shopping. Time spent decorating and planning, all leading up to one day. The when it is done..... now what?
Often I heard people say "never again". Though the reality is we are creatures of habit, we'll do it again just like last year and the year before.
Why do we have this desire to have one day of the year filled with presents and glitz and so much stuff? Does it make us happier? Maybe for the day but how long does it last? Far too many people have stuff of Christmas day then run out boxing day and buy more stuff. Or exchange what you didn't like to get something better.
Then you have stuff. Does the stuff make you happy? Does it fill you life with joy? Maybe it does for for now but in a week will it still be the best thing ever?
 |
| Small and simple Christmas |
We kept gifts to a minimum and they were mostly useful gifts, books, watches, blankets, PJ's and a few small toys. Honestly unwrapping was done in like 45 minutes. The kids were happy they got what they had wanted. I suppose I'm lucky that they didn't want much. ( definitely an advantage to no TV and homeschooling :) )
We are fortunate that our families are very understanding about our desire to keep the stuff to a minimum. They understand our desire for memories and quality over quantity. :)
Do I feel a sadness that Christmas is over? No. Why not? Because other then a few extra presents, snow and Christmas carols, and a tree we didn't do really anything major. Christmas will come again and I will continue to keep it stress free.
 |
| Time spent together is better then money spent on each other |
Maybe next year there will be a big dinner but I don't get stressed about having people over either. I enjoy good tidings and fun.
Avoid the Christmas let down by keeping things normal and keep your focus on what is important. The stuff isn't, the people and memories are!
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
The Rights of a Child
Today is National Child Day. Today we celebrate the rights of children.
Canada's national "Child Day" is held November 20th each year as enacted in Bill C-371, otherwise known as the Child Day Act, by the Parliament of Canada in 1993.
It commemorates the United Nations adoption of two landmark documents concerned with the human rights of all children and youths.
On "Child Day", Canadians honour our children and The United Nations Declaration on the Rights of The Child on November 20th, 1959, and the The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child on November 20th, 1989.
The Convention spells out the basic human rights to which children (under the age of 18) everywhere are entitled.
The purpose of Child Day is to promote awareness about the Convention to Canadians .
It is also a day to support Canadian children's rights by voicing your concerns about Canadian children's rights violations to the politicians of Canada and to educate our children about their rights and responsibilities.
All children have rights. More then just basic rights of food, water and shelter. Children have the right to being cared for in a loving and understanding home, whether that be with the parents or another designated home. They have the right to social security, to grow and develop in health. I love that there are so many rights put out for our children to keep them safe and equal human beings in this world.
I feel that there are a few things more for me personally that children have rights to!
I believe all children have the right to the best food for their health, even in infancy. Yes I mean human milk, if you can't produce it there are other ways. I believe that a child owns their body, all of it even from the time they are born, they have a right to not have their bodies modified, unless truly medically necessary I believe children have a right to be equal with all other human beings, they are not less because they are little. I believe that children have the right to be children. That means they can play, laugh, climb trees and snuggle. They have the right to learn their emotions, it is a big job and they need your loving kindness.
Children are wonderful little gifts. They are innocent precious souls. How you treat them will form how the new generation will be. While you must fill their rights laid out by the UN, remember to fill their rights are a person, as you expect your right to be filled.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Mama's tips for travelling sucess
We just completed what I refer to as the EPIC EXTRAVAGANZA. What else could you call a road trip where you drive 4 province and 13 sates in just 17 days? I call it epic especially when you do it with three young children. It is amazing how many people look at me like I am or at was completely nuts. I may possibly be but that is another topic completely. You know what we survived and with our family intact. There are no hurt feeling and no damaging arguments. It was a really good time. So after people hear about this usually they want to know my secret. How much did you drug them? Nope. Did they watch movies and play video games the whole way? They had one maybe two movies a day and 20 minutes each on the leapster. Next the baffled look came.Always with the baffled look. So here is Mama's tips for travelling success
Frequent quick stops. Do they need to pee? Find a rest stop or at least a good pull out and everyone get out. Run play tag, get the blood flowing do a few jumping jacks have a race. Exercise increases endorphins. Endorphin help make you happy. Fresh air can do wonders as well.
Something new. We got the kids new colouring books a lapboard and new markers. We went for the Colour Wonder stuff from Crayola. This was amazing It kept the boys busy. I never buy this for them regularly, they are fine using regular felts at home. But I had no desire to have a colouring war in the van.
Keep it fun. If it isn't interesting kids are going to get bored and make things a bit more unenjoyable. The mood tend to set the attitude. So if the mood goes down try and increase it, put on some good music sing be silly. It is really okay to be silly as an adult, we don't do it enough.
Pack good snacks. Sure treats are great to get them to shhh! for a bit but then they want more and the sugary treats aren't good for you or your children. Pack stuff that keep hunger at bay, and is easy to eat. Fruit cups aren't really a good idea but dehydrated fruit is excellent. Now I know regular diet goes out the window but there are good quick options.
Talk it up. The kids knew that we were going on this road trip. They were told it was going to take long drives, but they also knew about the fun things we were going to do. Every stop had something interesting for the children, even if it was just a campground with a pool and a playground. They knew there was something exciting at the end of the road.
Their opinion counts. Ask your kids if they are enjoying the trip. If they aren't ask them why not? Ask them if there is something that can be done to help them enjoy the trip more? Now you don't have to change your entire trip around your children but they need to know that you care about their opinion. Understand why they aren't having fun. On the same token if they are having fun engage them in conversation about what they like. That way if things turn and they said they didn't enjoy anything you have a conversation to go back to.
So there it is pretty simple.If all else fails the DVD player is still there but I think everyone enjoys the trip more if you engage with one another.
Something new. We got the kids new colouring books a lapboard and new markers. We went for the Colour Wonder stuff from Crayola. This was amazing It kept the boys busy. I never buy this for them regularly, they are fine using regular felts at home. But I had no desire to have a colouring war in the van.
Keep it fun. If it isn't interesting kids are going to get bored and make things a bit more unenjoyable. The mood tend to set the attitude. So if the mood goes down try and increase it, put on some good music sing be silly. It is really okay to be silly as an adult, we don't do it enough.
Pack good snacks. Sure treats are great to get them to shhh! for a bit but then they want more and the sugary treats aren't good for you or your children. Pack stuff that keep hunger at bay, and is easy to eat. Fruit cups aren't really a good idea but dehydrated fruit is excellent. Now I know regular diet goes out the window but there are good quick options.
Talk it up. The kids knew that we were going on this road trip. They were told it was going to take long drives, but they also knew about the fun things we were going to do. Every stop had something interesting for the children, even if it was just a campground with a pool and a playground. They knew there was something exciting at the end of the road.
Their opinion counts. Ask your kids if they are enjoying the trip. If they aren't ask them why not? Ask them if there is something that can be done to help them enjoy the trip more? Now you don't have to change your entire trip around your children but they need to know that you care about their opinion. Understand why they aren't having fun. On the same token if they are having fun engage them in conversation about what they like. That way if things turn and they said they didn't enjoy anything you have a conversation to go back to.
So there it is pretty simple.If all else fails the DVD player is still there but I think everyone enjoys the trip more if you engage with one another.
Monday, August 6, 2012
I breastfeed because I'm lazy
Yup if it involves little works I'm all over it. Really once we have figured out latch how much more effort does it take to breastfeed?
Get up to feed the baby in the middle of the night ? Nope roll over and breastfeed. This is where co-sleeping helps out
Prep bottles? Nope Always ready, always with me. I would never pack enough either I forget things
Clean and sanitize? Nope, it would really hurt to sanitize my breasts, ouch. It is always ready and perfect for baby.
Worry about running of formula? No. I never have to stress about having enough milk. We work on a supply and demand system. He wants it and I supply it!
Worry about the grocery budget? No extra cost of formula really save money. Bug had some when he was a baby and oh man that stuff is pricey. Also I don't eat that much more breastfeeding than I do not. Extra good snacks I should be having anyways to keep my body healthy.
Worry about weaning? Nope, he will stop we he is done. Extended breastfeeding has many advantages
I nurse my babies. I'm proud of my ability to nurse my babies, and for a long time. I nurse my babies until they self wean. Why? Also because I am lazy, I really have no desire to take something away from my child that brings them nourishment and comfort. Most of the time I love nursing my babies, even my toddlers. Nursing toddlers brings it's own level of amusement, but all in all it works really well and we enjoy our time together.
I don't understand how people can possibly insist it is easier to bottle feed, it sounds like way too much work. All the cleaning and prepping and buying. I love breastfeeding my children and I will continue to do it till they are done with that aspect of our relationship.
YEA BREASTFEEDING!!!!
This would be one of those interesting moments. Lil Squish wanted some milk with his cookie. He often nurses and works on a snack at the same time.
Get up to feed the baby in the middle of the night ? Nope roll over and breastfeed. This is where co-sleeping helps out
Prep bottles? Nope Always ready, always with me. I would never pack enough either I forget things
Clean and sanitize? Nope, it would really hurt to sanitize my breasts, ouch. It is always ready and perfect for baby.
Worry about running of formula? No. I never have to stress about having enough milk. We work on a supply and demand system. He wants it and I supply it!
Worry about the grocery budget? No extra cost of formula really save money. Bug had some when he was a baby and oh man that stuff is pricey. Also I don't eat that much more breastfeeding than I do not. Extra good snacks I should be having anyways to keep my body healthy.
Worry about weaning? Nope, he will stop we he is done. Extended breastfeeding has many advantages
I nurse my babies. I'm proud of my ability to nurse my babies, and for a long time. I nurse my babies until they self wean. Why? Also because I am lazy, I really have no desire to take something away from my child that brings them nourishment and comfort. Most of the time I love nursing my babies, even my toddlers. Nursing toddlers brings it's own level of amusement, but all in all it works really well and we enjoy our time together.
I don't understand how people can possibly insist it is easier to bottle feed, it sounds like way too much work. All the cleaning and prepping and buying. I love breastfeeding my children and I will continue to do it till they are done with that aspect of our relationship.
YEA BREASTFEEDING!!!!
This would be one of those interesting moments. Lil Squish wanted some milk with his cookie. He often nurses and works on a snack at the same time.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
The BREAST of New York
Wow it seems like I keep coming across boobs in New York today. You know what I fully support it too!
Have you heard of Moira Johnston? She is a topless dancer in New York who bares her breasts during the day for activism. You can read the official story here on the Huffington Post. To sum it up, she wants women to know that they don't have to hide their breasts. It is legal in quite a few places actually for women to bare their breasts. I know where we live there is quite a controversy about it. There is a topless lady in our town, but she is not nearly perceived as well as Moira, might have to do that she is significantly older than New York's top less wonder.
Now some people really have an issue with topless women. I really don't understand the issue that so many have. They just simply are breasts, women just happen to have larger mammory glands therefor generally larger breast then men. Most of the reason is the high sexualization on breasts. Women, especially their breast, are seen as sexual objects for a mans pleasure. Not really cool with that line of thinking. So many womens get all up in arms about " My Body My Choice" but still keep stigma going. Seriously people they are just boobs. They are used to feed and nourish our young, that really is their primary function. The fun is secondary. Which nicely leads into the next story I keep seeing.
Have you heard about the new breastfeeding stir in New York Hospitals? Mayor Bloomberg has gone breastfeeding friendly, but it is with opposition. You can read the actual press release here. I really applaud Mayor Bloomberg for his actions. I do believe that the formula advertising should be taken out of the hospitals. I don't believe in goodie bags of formula given to breastfeeding moms. It sets them up for failure. How do I think it sets them up for failure? When you have something else that you can feed your baby when you are exhausted and little support most will turn to the formula. Or just you need a few minutes so Daddy can feed the baby. Now there are so many things that other people can do for you and to help you with breastfeeding but giving you formula is not helping. It is not helping a mom when she says she is having troubles to just hand her a bottle of formula.
The formula companies are ruthless with their advertising, and I don't agree with it. I fully support Mayor Bloomberg's stance on we need to focus on breastfeeding it is what is designed for babies. Breast is what is best for them, breast is normal.
So there you have it New York and their concerns about breast, bare them and share them!
Have you heard of Moira Johnston? She is a topless dancer in New York who bares her breasts during the day for activism. You can read the official story here on the Huffington Post. To sum it up, she wants women to know that they don't have to hide their breasts. It is legal in quite a few places actually for women to bare their breasts. I know where we live there is quite a controversy about it. There is a topless lady in our town, but she is not nearly perceived as well as Moira, might have to do that she is significantly older than New York's top less wonder.
Now some people really have an issue with topless women. I really don't understand the issue that so many have. They just simply are breasts, women just happen to have larger mammory glands therefor generally larger breast then men. Most of the reason is the high sexualization on breasts. Women, especially their breast, are seen as sexual objects for a mans pleasure. Not really cool with that line of thinking. So many womens get all up in arms about " My Body My Choice" but still keep stigma going. Seriously people they are just boobs. They are used to feed and nourish our young, that really is their primary function. The fun is secondary. Which nicely leads into the next story I keep seeing.
Have you heard about the new breastfeeding stir in New York Hospitals? Mayor Bloomberg has gone breastfeeding friendly, but it is with opposition. You can read the actual press release here. I really applaud Mayor Bloomberg for his actions. I do believe that the formula advertising should be taken out of the hospitals. I don't believe in goodie bags of formula given to breastfeeding moms. It sets them up for failure. How do I think it sets them up for failure? When you have something else that you can feed your baby when you are exhausted and little support most will turn to the formula. Or just you need a few minutes so Daddy can feed the baby. Now there are so many things that other people can do for you and to help you with breastfeeding but giving you formula is not helping. It is not helping a mom when she says she is having troubles to just hand her a bottle of formula.
The formula companies are ruthless with their advertising, and I don't agree with it. I fully support Mayor Bloomberg's stance on we need to focus on breastfeeding it is what is designed for babies. Breast is what is best for them, breast is normal.
So there you have it New York and their concerns about breast, bare them and share them!
Friday, July 27, 2012
Wanting to add....
We want to grow our family by another baby. Yes that would put us up to four children. I don't know when this next baby is going to come. I'm hoping spring/summer of next year, but that seems like it might not be in the design of things at the moment.
I suppose I am one of those fortunate women who while Breastfeeding I don't ovulate. It has been nearly 17 months and still nothing. I know our next baby is waiting and will come in time. I know that the timing will be right for our family. It may not be what I want when I want but it will be what is needed.
I get a LOT of people asking me if we are going for the girl? For some reason people seem to think that because I have all boys, that the only reason to have another child is to have the other gender. It's not we want to add to our family. We love our children each and everyone of them. This is not because they boys, it is because they are wonderful individuals. I love each of them for who they are. Sure a girl might be fun but so would another boys. I'm not really particular on which I get. I will love my child regard less. Hopefully next year we can welcome a new addition. I will do random posts on our Trying To Conceive ( TTC) adventure.
Monday, May 28, 2012
Mommy Confession ~~~~~ Laundry
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