Showing posts with label advocacy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advocacy. Show all posts

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Works well with others.........

What does it mean to work well with others? Seriously? Everyone put it on their resume and it is such a token comment in any interview. It is something that children are graded on in school even. I'm looking at the world and wondering what does it really mean "works well with others"?

Honestly in my opinion the expectations of today's society there is a major change in the wording needed, to explain what is expected. Works well for others! This is what is really wanted in most situations. Some one who is compliant and does what they are told with no resistance. This makes me sad, especially for children. Adults have more choice in the matter. If they don't like the situation they are allowed to change it, children not so much.

Now when I think of a good team scenario I think of people who compliment each other, all having different strengths and weaknesses and corroborating together. This far too often isn't what really happens in many situations, sure in some but really in most it isn't. You have your boss and they tell you what to do.

I personally find it more and more that "works well with others" really is meaning I listen well and do as I'm told. Very rarely are people wanting someone with drive and ambition, who are wanting to move forwards and makes changes where they need to be made. What is wanted is someone who will put their head down and work, won't cause confrontation or problems. Just simply do as wanted.

Is that who you want your child to be? Is that who you want to be? If you do then great, but I don't. I want to work with others. I want to be free to make choices and decisions  I would like people to be open to new ideas, not just what corporate wants. I do not want to be a drone and I don't want my children to be forced into becoming one. I want them to love life and enjoy.




Thursday, March 21, 2013

Call to Moms of Boys!!!!

We need to help our boys!
We need to have our boys know that they are good human beings!

With all the news of rape this past few days it is appalling the rape culture we live in. The confusion between what is and isn't consent. The lack of respect for another person just is wrong.

As mothers of boys we have a responsibility to raise up boys that quash this stereo type. We have to talk to our boys. We need to love them and we need to show them how to love others. We need to teach them about respect for them selves and others. We have to tell them that they are responsible for their actions, right from an early age.

It more then teaching them about sex and that when a girl says no to stop. It is so much more than that. The respect needs to start before. It is not just about saying no or yes it is about the respect that is mutually there before sex even come up.

We have a stigma that needs to be changed and it needs to change with the boys. For years we have been attacking girls telling them that they must act differently, dress differently, just be different so they didn't lure our men into situations where they would rape them. Yes things need to change, but how about giving our men some control and telling them that they are responsible. I don't know of a woman who gets dressed in the morning with the thought of " This is so going to get me raped, this is what I am going to wear today!"

Accountability needs to be on both parties some times but really there needs to be a really big change on the male half. They need to know that no matter how much money they spend how much they are attracted to her, there is never NEVER EVER an excuse to take something that does not belong to you. Just to also clarify, since we don't have slavery, she doesn't belong to you!

Moms we need to help our boys. They are going into a world where in general it is believed that all men are potential rapists. How are we going to hep them? We can start by opening the conversation NOW! Talk to them about what is going on. It is a reality and you can't hide it. If you don't talk, someone else will and it wont always be the message you want. We need to encourage them to stand up for injustices, we need need to let them know that being a good person is good. We need to stop putting our head in the sand and thinking that it will never happen. We need to respect and love our sons enough to talk to them about this. They need to learn about sex and what is really is. We need to change this rape culture so that women can stop living in fear and men can been seen as respectable individuals.

Now I am going to have to put it out there that yes I am aware that rape goes both ways but the stats are far against the men. The discussion should be with both girls and boys, but as a mom of boys I am very passionate about working to change this world where you can effect change. I can effect change with my sons. I encourage you to do the same with your children. You will each have your own set of values and morals that works for your family. I would prefer to teach my children to wait till they can see themselves being with some that they would want to raise a family with. Everyone is different and will raise their children with their own values, but the conversation needs to start.

Sex should not be hidden away in the family setting, children should know that they can come with questions. They should have a safe environment to talk in, where they know they will get honest answers. If you don't talk they will seek out the answers, through peers and the internet. Children are resourceful they will find the answers but will they be the answers you want them to find?

Have you opened the discussion in your home?