Thursday, May 31, 2012

Some Days I Severely Dislike Facebook

I have a major love/hate relationship with facebook. I love it for keeping connected and reconnecting with people. I can share photos with friends and family and chat with people without running up my phone bill. Facebook has allowed me to connect with people and stay in contact with others who I may have not seen again. Facebook is wonderful for these things and it has many good aspects of it, though there are some downfalls.
On Facebook is so easy to misunderstand people. In person it is much easier to understand tone and intent when you can actually hear a persons voice and often you will choose your word better. A lot of people use Facebook to hide behind they are all abrasive and forward, and say things they never would in person. Sometimes this is a good thing most times it is a bad thing. If you wouldn't normally say something to someone then just don't say it. Remember the good old advice from Thumper's dad. " If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." I know sometimes that advice is super hard to follow. Sometimes you don't even say something intending to be mean and others interpret it as mean. Facebook can be a wonderful place for DRAMA, and I hate to say it but it is worse among us females. We have a whole new method of being catty and mean with Facebook. We message each other and talk about others. Sometimes it is speculation that they are talking about you other times you just know they are talking about you. We play little games and tags ourselves out with our friends, sometimes knowing that the person we left out is going to see and feel jealous. Facebook has given people a super easy way to bully, heck you don't even have to get dressed to make someone's life miserable.

Bullying aside, the drama that one can create on Facebook is just silly. I had seen a really funny meme the other day but I can't find it now. Which said " Quitting Facebook is just like running away from home, you know you'll be back!" It is so true, on a regualr basis I see people. They get all fired up and mad about something and want attention so they post saying that they are leaving Facebook. Their friends then tell them that Facebook wouldn't be the same, they are so sad to see them go and yada yada yada. If they leave they never leave for long, at least in my experience. It's drama plain and simple. Someone want to feel like they matter and for some if no one posts after they have had their status up, they simply delete it and post something else whiny. Sometimes it's not outwardly whiny though some times it is totally passive aggressive. Just pointed enough that the knowing party in which it is intended for will know what you are talking about, but no one else will.  Or even better people can ask you what is up and you can hash out your poor side of the story, playing even more of the victim.

Now don't get me wrong I'm all for passive aggressive behavior at time but when it is all the time it is annoying. Sometimes you need to be a bit subtle and underhanded with some people in order to get the message across, or to just make someone feel like crap. There are people who sometimes need to be taken down a peg or five.

I recently got to be in the middle one one of these Facebook girl fights and not just a bystander like normal. It really was silly I said something, and people didn't like the way I said it even though they agreed with me.  o_O I know sometimes people just want to pick fights. The girl I pretty much told to "own her issues and if it was important she would make it work" freaked out. Swore at me and just lost it. There life went a little high school from there with other girls cutting me down ( even thought they "agreed" with me ) Some standing up for me. the banter went back and forth for an hour or so and then it fizzled out. Only to be brought to life again on a totally unrelated topic. Well poop hit the fan and things were said, feeling were hurt, people got mad. One person left the group in the heat of the moment and all seemed to calm. The next day everything was revived by a certain offended person saying that maybe things weren't right for them and blah blah blah. They said they would leave in 48 hours and that you could say what you wanted to to them. o_O Once again attention seeking.. If you are leaving say goodbye and leave. don't stay around asking for people to be sad you are going say your piece and leave, that is if you are really done and not just looking for attention. Ugh I'm getting too old for this.

So in final bit. Please stop the Facebook drama. Talk to real people. Go outside and if someone says something that upsets you go to that person don't make a big deal over it. Have some tact and decency!


  1. It's gotten to the point that if I see someone is surrounded by facebook drama, I will generally just unfriend them (unless we are close friends in real life) since I just don't have the time or energy to be involved (or even possibly involved) in facebook drama. I think more people should take advantage of the message feature and say things privately rather than right on the wall. Sorry you were "drama-ed!"

  2. in the world of gaming we used to joke that we didn't want to go outside because the 'graphics' weren't as good. Sometimes being online too much really messes with our heads, as you said, we do get too forward, we don't think about what we say, because we have a nice keyboard and screen to hide behind. Would you really say such things to one's face? OF course not, we'd be too scared or we'd have a moment of SANE judgement and realize it just isn't appropriate.

    All the same, and for whatever reason, cyber bullying is wrong, and far too prevalent. I love Facebook in that it can keep me in contact with all my amazing military friends; since the military has us all moving all over the world every 2 years. But at the same time, it is far too easy for bullying to take effect.

  3. I life/relationship coach and one thing that never ceases to amaze me is that people believe FB is REAL!!! I tell them all the time that you can't forge or keep a relationship based on FB, read into every little action on FB, generally stay glued to the computer because of FB! You can tell I have a hate/hate relationship with FB eh?

  4. Luckily, I've escaped the FB drama, but I maybe get on once a day for ten minutes or so & I usually spend that time chatting with old schoolmates or playing Farmville. But I defintely don't like drama.

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