Saturday, November 10, 2012

The Trend of the Friend

Friendship is a very important aspect of society. It is a bond formed between people that can forge storms and delight in triumphs. A friendship is a building block of any relationship. Friendships can go for years, through many of life's events. A true friendship can be a wonderful and special thing.

What are a few problem I personally see with the trend of the friend?

The "Me" issue
Unfortunately, it is getting harder and harder to find friendships that are genuine. Friendship is becoming conditional. A "what can I get out of this?" situation. In a day and age of Me, Me, Me, good true friendships seem to be a thing of the past. So often once you achieve what you need things fall away. We are treating people like they are disposable, something that can come and go. We need to change out attitude towards people from " what can you do for me?" to "what can I do for you?"

Lasting the test of life
I look at my grandparents and they have friends they have had all their adult lives. Sure they have had troubles, but they stick it through, work things out. Really it goes for most of the elder generations relationships, they fixed things and didn't just throw them away. Just because some issue happened, big or small, sometimes a friendship is worth working it out. Sometimes it isn't but work at life don't just expect everything to come up roses.

Lack of unstructured play 
This goes for all ages. Everything is scheduled to extremes. Gone are the just dropping by for anything and visiting with people. There is always something to do something more important. There are so few moments in anyone's life that isn't structured down to the moment. Spontaneity is gone from our lives and our play.

Lack of Communication
Never have there been so many ways to communicate. There are options everywhere, call, text, Facebook, IM, Facetime, Skype. But with all these options we are actually communicating less. Sure we text back and forth  and leave messages on Facebook, but the person to person talking seems to be becoming a lost art. People today seem so reliant on electronic text forms of communication. Gone are letters, gone are hours of chatting on the phone.

I'm thinking we need to step away from our isolation practices of today and go back to basics. get back to the friend.


  1. Very insightful post! I agree. I wrote about tyrannical schedules yesterday, in fact! Friendships are so important, yet they are taking a backseat. I'm going to call a friend tonight...

  2. I totally agree how it's getting harder and harder to make and keep new friends. Especially for a Mom like me who is a stay-at-home work-from-home Mom. I obviously have no actual co-workers that I can hang out with after work.

    I'm thankful I have friends who I've known for 10 years that are still around and are for keeps!

  3. I have some friends that I've known for years - and it's these ones that I spend hours writing long emails to or talking on the phone. I think a lot of people are so busy trying to fit in millions of activities into their everyday lives, that there is little time left for relaxing into a long face-to-face talk. It's sad.
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts,

  4. I totally agree. We have so many ways to communicate nowadays, but we need to make sure we have meaningful conversations with them. Thanks for reminding me to make sure I'm fully present in my communication with others.

  5. Technology has its benefits, but also its drawbacks. Relationships have paid the price for this, yes. I remember the good old days of having pen friends. Nothing beats the excitement of receiving mail from a dear friend from oceans away.

  6. Our strange schedules and lack of consistent home base make it very hard to maintain long term friendships. On the other hand, the internet is a boom to communication and friendships.

  7. Girlfriend, I really am rethinking my so-called "friends" on Facebook. Whenever I really need physical help, i.e., packing, only less than a handful make themselves available. The word "friend" is being abused like the word "love." People love their spouses like they love pizza. Jack is my friend on Facebook yet Jack from Facebook is never there when I need him. It's gross. You're right. Friendship ain't what it used to be. No one is willing to sacrificially love on each other any more.