I will keep doing it too! Now I'm not mean, I acknowledge their needs but they do need to learn to function on their own. Sometimes whatever they want, just can't be done the way they want or when they want. Sometimes I simply tell them that I am going to ignore them. It is usually because they are not listening to what I am saying and arguing with me when I am agreeing with them. This is the communication ignoring, I am still aware so it is not true ignoring but I refuse to respond, thus they think I am ignoring them.
I also have mentioned how I believe in free range living in some aspects with my children. Yes there will be time that passes that I am not aware of what my children are doing exactly. Though I do know whereabouts they should be. Particularly at home I can go an hour or more not knowing exactly what the older two boys are doing. Our house though is set up in a way that they have their safe places to play and they don't get into the things they shouldn't. Anything dangerous is also locked up or put up and out of reach.
For my sanity sometimes I need to ignore my children. I can't fuss over them every moment of everyday. I just can't it stresses me out and it's not fun for them. Honestly it works for us. I never ignore them completely. I am always open and willing to listen if they want to communicate with me in a suitable manner. I should mention that suitable is adjusted for the child's age. I don't expect lil Squish to tell me what he wants with words. Though hitting me is not the method of communication that is suitable.
Yup I ignore my kids, but they are cool with it and it works for us. I fully pay attention to them a lot more than I ignore them.
I could not agree more! My kids are definitely "free range". I am the antithesis of a helicopter mom!
ReplyDeleteMe too! Mine are still quite young (oldest is 3 1/2) so I need to keep those free range times short. It is crucial for them to learn how to entertain themselves and not get into trouble. I type this as we are teaching our very persistent 2yo that bedtime means no more play. I am ignoring his begging that has gone on for nearly two hours....
ReplyDeleteI COMPLETELY agree!! You have to let your kids have independence or they will never learn how to cope on their own. Okay, I know that sounds silly for some age groups, but it's true! Plus, leaving them alone allows their creativity to bloom!
ReplyDeleteI don't have kids but my little sister is 8 (16 year age gap!) and I have used the 'ignore method' a few times when babysitting her. If we respond and agree to their every whim and fancy they will wind up spoiled and never learning to do anything on their own!
ReplyDeletei try to ignore my children but they are so darned persistent! it's something i need to work on ; )
ReplyDeleteTotally agree with you! I have a 3 1/2 year old and a 7yr old. Because I was so "first time mommy" with my 7yr old, she still struggles with entertaining herself. I did everything with and for her when she was 3 to 5yrs old. My little one though hasn't had the same extent of constant attention and I'm blown away at how easily she entertains herself and how broad her imagination is. They are both amazing, smart kids and have very different personalities, and different learning styles. It's interesting to watch how my different parenting style with them has sort of molded them. My oldest is also a major rule follower because we always had very structured rules, but since the little one came along, I'm much more relaxed with the rules (as long as nobody is doing anything dangerous or mean.)
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