Yup I am odd. I was really awkward as a kid and a teenager, heck as an adult. I have those awful embarrassing school photos, that people laugh at for years. I usually figured out trends as they were trending away. I was not cool or popular at all, I wasn't even on the uncool side, I was just different.
I wore hand me down clothes, that were very far out of style, and not the looping back cool items. I didn't really feel pretty most of my childhood and teenaged years. I went through a long time just being invisible, or at least feeling that way. I went though phases of being bullied but mostly I was just ignored. It was hard never having any friends till I was a bit older. Elementary years sucked.
I went through a phase where I really tried to be like everyone else just so I could fit in somewhere. The problem was I became so many "people", that I really was still no one. I had trouble with a lot of basic social skills. I had a lot of trouble breaking out and meeting new people. I became afraid to be me, due to the fact I felt no one like the real me. I still have a problems with this in my adult life. I thought making friends in school was hard, try the real world it sucks.
I have a hard time conforming to one particular thing. I really am a bit of a mish mash of different things that I have liked along the way. I feel strongly about a number of things but I'm usually open to listening to others thoughts. Hey I really can't judge your for your wrong choices, they are yours to make. Yes I do think I am right for my life. Maybe not yours but it works for us.
I'm a bit sassy, I'm opinionated and I can be loud about stuff with people I know. Though usually I keep to myself with people who I don't know very well. I can appear rather shy to people who don't know me, and have even been called snobby.
I wear toe shoes and clothes that are comfortable. I'm usually pretty plain and not very noticeable. I used to have a hard time with being different but I have decided to embrace myself. Freckles and all! I'm who I am and that's not really going to change.
Being different is what the world is all about! Embrace it and yourself!
ReplyDeleteAliy... YOU GO GIRL!!! Funny when I read "I can appear rather shy to people who don't know me, and have even been called snobby." ... That was me!! to the "T"! Once people got to know me one of the first things they would tell me was they thought I was stuck-up... however..the truth about it all was that I was shy... after all I went to a total of 13 schools... which included 2 junior highs (we did not call them middle school back then) and 1 high school... my parents divorced and we'd move all the time. With time I finally gave up trying to keep up and embraced who I was. So great to hear that I wasn't the only one to have gone through the same. Great to know I am not alone. Not great that it happened to someone else. ;) Blessings to you and yours.
ReplyDeleteI think you're beautiful! My oldest who is just the nicest guy, used to get made fun of in school all of the time. I just never understood it...maybe he was too nice?
ReplyDeleteHe's all grown up, in the military, and happily married now. And he's huge (the gym being one of his favorite go-to spots). No one picks on him now. :) But he hasn't changed a bit...at least not on the inside...he's still really nice.
I don't know why/how children decide who to target... I don't think it's relevant to the person even. I think if they know it bothers you; you are too nice; whatever, they just keep going w/it because it makes them feel good about themselves to have that moment of power. I don't even think most kids mean to exclude or make fun of others... It's just a baffling phenomenon to me. You can take the biggest bully out of a crowd, and usually he's just like everyone else! Ah well...I digress... I know.
To those who think you're different, hurrah! No one should want to be like anyone else anyway. :)
I'm glad you have come around just being comfortable in your skin. Because of my quiet ways, I have been accused of being a snob or "stuck up". People who get to know me have always said, "I thought you were...." Because of that, I do not judge people.
ReplyDeleteI think the most important thing is that you like who you are (regardless of how other people might feel) - and it sounds like you are doing just that!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing all your thoughts here,
Kristina
It's good to be who you were made to be. Glad you're embracing that!
ReplyDeleteI can total understand...I was also, quite when I'd first meet people--once I warmed up to them or them to me --it was different. Everyone was friendly to me during school-but never really my friend-but I really only had two true friends. Its good to embrace who you are--I wish I could have had the comfort in my own skin as much as I do now back them-about 15 years ago a gal who was in the popular group started coming to my church and we've had some talks about how others saw me-one word she used a lot is quirky-I GUESS its not the worst way to be discribed, but as adults our skin is much thicker! =)
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