Sometimes I know it is hard to not compare our kids with someone else's. Especially when your children are doing the opposite of the other person's. I know I am guilty of it. Now I have been on both sides of the issue. Sometimes the boys are WILD and I am sooooo embarrassed. I have no idea what has gotten into them but someone must of slipped them crazy pills. Those were honestly earlier days in my parenting when I didn't realize that sometimes kids are just crazy, I still have moments when I feel so hot with embarrassment but that is my own issue not theirs. I'm sure people think my children at times are just wild nut balls and I don't care about how they behave. I'm sure some people think I'm too lenient on them, on the flip side I'm sure there are times when people think I am too hard on them..
I am a big believe of " place and time", for most behaviors there is a place and time. They are just children after all and learning the world that they live in. They have little bodies that desire to move, a lot. They have brains that desire to be filled with knowledge, so they seek out new experiences and want to know about everything around them. They have amazing imaginations, so there are a lot more wonders in their world.
There are a few things where I do stand my ground with my children. They will be kind and inculsive, I have run into times when they don't want to play with a particular child. I will pull my child aside and ask them 1st why the don't want to play with them? 2nd if they would like to be treated this way. Now if the other child is being unkind and that is why my child doesn't want to play that is understandable. I will though if it seems to be a problem encourage my child to approach the other child and see if something can be worked out. Now at time i will need to mediate remember my children are still young. These though are life skills, these are needed to be leaned. So when I see a parent being totally okay ith their child being rude and intentionally excluding, I definitely get a " my child would never behave like that ".
Now I'm not perfect, heck far from it but I parent with love and respect. I will always love my children, I know that they love me to even when they are mad. Sometimes we don't know how to deal with our children and their behaviors Sometimes we believe that a parenting class should be required to have children With on going training, because we know that sometimes the on the job training sucks. I hope we are all doing the best we can with the tools we are given. We don't always know everyone's story, but we can help them create new chapters in their books. So maybe next time you seem someone struggling with their children instead of thinking " my kid's would never be such awful horrible little beings, their mother must let run all over her!" Ask her if she needs a hand, be a friend. maybe even smile and think good thought about her and her children and wish her the best.
So what about you, Have you ever had a " my kids would never....."
Our son is 2.5 and just recently discovered how to have a melt down. It's only happened a couple of times (so far) and I just hope he doesn't try this while we are out and about! Eek...my could would never cause a scene! Or, would he? We shall see!
ReplyDeleteMy four-year-old, well, when he's good he's an angel but when he's bad he's a monster. School has tamed him a bit, though. He doesn't throw tantrums the way he did before and he is slowly learning the art of patience. I hope he keeps up the good work... because it drives me nuts when he's in monster mode. Haha.
ReplyDeleteOh I am SOOOOO guilty of this. That "holier than thou" look when seeing a child (in a posh restaurant no less) throwing a temper tantrum (when the restaurant asked us if we had children under 10 and then told us that they were strictly prohibited yet the child in question was maybe 4) thinking MY children would NEVER do that, or I would handle it better. GREAT post!!!!
ReplyDeleteI think it's so much easier to look on the outside and judge a situation. I'm sure that some other parent has watched me with my kids and thought "I would never let my kids get away with that" or "I would never behave that way as a parent." I do try to view other parents with sympathy and empathy. You never know when that will be you!
ReplyDeleteGreat post!! There are times when I'm thinking to myself, "What will others think of me..." Whether I'm out and my baby is screaming in the stroller or something else, I feel others staring at me. But in truth, we never know what is going on by the other person, so even though I may have a screaming baby that I seem to be ignoring, perhaps that is how she falls asleep.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. My daughter just had one of her first melt downs and I was thinking, how will others view me as a parent. It is important too when you look at others. Thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDelete