Food based Russian Roulette

Now being the nutritionally savvy person I am, I like to think I have a grasp on food. I know what is good for your body and I know what is bad. I can cook awesome food that is super healthy without even thinking about it. It's like a gift I have. Normally our food has been really good. We have the odd indulgence but we definitely eat better than the average North American.

You know what though, little baby sweet pea doesn't give a rats ass what Mommy thinks about eating healthy.

What do I get cravings for? Something deep friend, smothered in gravy and cheese. Yes my current love is poutine. You should have it if you haven't before, it is awesome. I want salt and lots of salt. Like I'm telling you I could just crack the sea salt right into my mouth and be happy. Now I know this isn't all the good for me. I know we need to balance food.

But little baby sweet pea still doesn't give a rats ass. If I don't give my little fetus what my body is craving I get to vomit. That's seems to be my choice right now. Eat what I crave or hug a toilet. This really isn't too hard of a choice. The problem comes when I want something but I have no idea what. This create a very emotional time because I know if I don't eat I will be sick and if I eat the wrong thing I will be sick. Kinda feels like I'm running around blindfolded in the grocery store with a gun to my head... pick the wrong thing and DEATH. Yes that may sound a touch dramatic but unless you have experienced this level of sickness and heartburn you can't possibly understand.

Yes so what's for breakfast, lunch and dinner .......... who knows???????

I'm sure the other children can survive on what they can reach and what I can throw on a plate without being sick, right? I'm sure. Oh and what dad makes when he is home. ( He is awesome like that )

Trying to make a change

You know what you want to do with your health. Though the big question is what are the steps that you need to take? Do you need to do a complete diet overhaul? Join a gym? Get a trainer? It all can get very overwhelming. Particularly if you are a busy mom with little ones it can seem like too much.

So what do you do?

Well remember back in school the " K.I.S.S" acronym? If you don't then you really need to know about this. It is quite easy and can be applied in many aspects of life.  Keep It Simple Silly ( or whatever "S" word you choose to use)

Thats about it. Keep it simple. Your body got the way it was over years, it wont change in just a few days it will take time and effort. Making small simple manageable steps will keep you going. Major over hauls get exhausting. Cutting out all your fave foods suck ass. You can make the change you want you just need to start smaller.

Start with going for a evening walk with the family or without if that will help sanity. Bring up the pace mix up the terrain. ( I have no shortage of hills in my area) Look up different workout routines on YouTube. Some of them can be really fun. Go try a yoga or Zumba class. For classes I wouldn't suggesting getting a long membership right off the bat go for a month or two before shelling out the big $$$.

Try for one or two carb & sugar free dinners a week. Add raw veggies to all your lunches. Grab something new from the health alse next time you are in the grocery store ( not the treats, the real food)

Small and simple differences can make for better changes. More lasting changes.

If you choose to do a detox or cleanse keep the timing short but at least 21 days. It is said that it takes 21 days to make a habit. You don't want to do a sugar cleanse just to binge after it.

What small and simple changes have you made this week towards better health

What's for dinner?

Steak, Gnocchi,green beans & Honey Sesame Yams

Farmers Sausage, tortellini, & roaster carrots and brussle sprouts

Fruits salad with dragon fruit, apples, watermelon,pineapple, kale & chia seeds with a drizzle of honey

Gluten free pasta with cheese and hemp seeds with veggies on the side

Portabello mushroom pizza caps

Dealing with exclusion

You know what sometimes homeschooling really does have it's setbacks. The long days when you aren't feeling well, and dealing with friendships. See when you are sticking your children with other kids all day five days a week they will generally form a bond with one another. It is different when homeschooling, they don't see the same kids everyday. It depends on the activity and where you are as to who there is to interact with. I strive very hard most days to get the boys out and about. They are very social kids and they have no qualms with playing with anyone else.

The problem is trying to help create that bond. Most people search for the solid friendship with another human being. Most people look for their best friend. Sure in the younger years your best friend may only last a few weeks, but it is an important relationship building experience.

Now I live where there are apparently lots of kids but you don't see them. Any of them, seriously. I can throw rocks at an elementary school from my front door and except for morning and after school I really don't see other children. Sure when we go over to the park there may be one or two but there isn't a ton. I have tried connecting with other families in the homeschooling. It seems that connecting is hard and limited. At least for us. The strange thing is we have a very fluid schedule. It feels like others just don't want to connect with us. :(

It is hard knowing that you are being excluded. It is even harder knowing that your child is being excluded. When that sweet smiling face looks at you wanting to know if they can go play with the other child and you have to tell them that they are busy. Then they hear at the next group gathering how they  were playing with another child. Then he looks at you with his loving kind blue eyes and asks why don't they want to be his friend and play with him anymore. I have to smile back at him and tell him that I have no idea. I really don't.

Some people think that homeschooling you will be free of bullying and peer exclusion. They are wrong. You can limit it, but it can almost be worse. Not only is another child excluding your child, but their parents are actively facilitating it. It sucks, it really does.

As a victim of excessive bullying, I strive to teach my children to be kind to others. It pains me when he doesn't understand why others are unkind. It just doesn't come to him, he wants to play with everyone. I guess I just live in a slightly different world from those around me.

Have you had to deal with your child being intentional excluded? How did you deal with it?

Emotional turmoil

Have you ever been on a roller coaster? One of the real awesome ones that go up and down and fling you all around? You know the one that are better if the are faster and go upside down? Well roller coasters are just awesome. They give you an amazing thrill that just can't be beat for some people.

web credit

You know what roller coaster is not awesome an emotional one. Pregnancy puts me on a steep emotional roller coaster.  Add in some stress and the situation can get a little dire. I will be sitting thinking about something or nothing and I will have an overwhelming urge to cry. Or the bread isn't fluffy enough so I just want to punch the entire loaf and chuck it out the window. I'm not usually this irrational( a bit but not this much) but this time it is so much worse. I feel a little crazy and a lot unstable. I seriously have no idea how I'm going to react in any situation. Some days it makes me want to just stay home because it is just easier that way.  It would be wonderful if I had people who understand how I feel and what I am going through but alas that isn't seeming like it will happen anytime soon. When you are going through emotional turmoil it seems like everybody sucks.

Why I have been MIA

You may have noticed a  distinct lack of posts over the past....... oh say few months.

Yup we are expecting a bundle of joy to join our family. Number 4 will certainly enrich our lives to a new level.

How am I feeling? CRAPPY & SICK

I'm at 16 ish weeks and still spending once or twice a day smiling at my toilet bowl. I'm hoping I will be feeling much better soon. I will be updating every now and then with how I am feeling, emotionally and physically. 

As for right now emotions are still on random high alert. You never know how I am going to be feeling from day to day, heck from minute to minute. Physically still very run down and exhausted. It may have something to do with three other children but who knows. ;) Starting to feel a bit of movement which is nice.

All will be be good and we are very excited to welcome our new little one before the end of the year.

Everybody has a disorder nowadays, but .....

Have you noticed the labelling going on these days? Either they have a label or they are seeking a label or they have been told by someone that they should have a label.

Why does everyone one want some sort of disorder diagnosis? Is it a badge of honour? Does it excuse you for poor behaviour?

This is personal for me. I have a diagnosis  and it is hard to deal with. I really should see someone and have all the labels figured out and put on paper. I have been medicated, I have lived with people knowing I have a messed up brain chemistry. I have dealt with the looks and stares because I can just not be like everyone else.

I am currently not on medication because I don't think the way normal people do even when on medication. I moderate myself with my diet. I have to stick to my diet or the issues arise again. I often fail. I often have to pick myself back up and remind myself that I am worth it. Just because I am not like everyone else, doesn't make me less.

Having yourself labelled doesn't always make life easier. It actually can make it harder. While you may now understand that it is just they way your body is. You still need to learn how to function in society  You still need to learn how to just move little bit consistently so you don't have the build up of energy that makes you want to jump and and run around a room screaming. You have to learn how to read the company you are in as to how much you can talk and what you can talk about. You have to learn coping mechanisms with your own personal issues because people will just think you are bat shit crazy if they knew what really was going on in your mind.

I have a diagnosis of ADHD ( attention deficit hyperactive disorder), I also have chronic depression, dealing and anxiety and paranoia. I have been medicated in the past when I have had bad episodes. I don't like being on medication, I can't think right, sure I may not have the feelings of restlessness or debilitating sadness, but I just have a cloud in my head.

This is why I use food. good food, whole food. When I eat a clean unprocessed diet, I feel better in my body. I need to eat whole fats like butter, cream, avocados and fish. I eat lots of vegetables and fruits. I limited my grain intake. I try and stay away from artificial dyes and processed white sugar. I know what happens when I eat stuff that I shouldn't, my body hurts and my brain fritzes.  This way though I know what is going into my body.

Having a label doesn't give you a free pass to act like a jerk. It should be to make you accountable for yourself. knowing that you have something that is off give you responsibility to learn how to act. It is harder, it is a challenge. We are unique individuals who think differently, having a label doesn't make you special. You are special you already know that. Having a label does give you a special badge, it is not something to brag about. It does not put you into an elite club. It gives you more challenges, pretty much daily.

Don't take a diagnosis lightly, it is not funny or a game to those of us who deal with the challenges daily. It is not something to get extra attention or money for. It is not something to make your life easier. Sure  there may be benefits right now, but once you have that label you have it for life. A misdiagnosis can follow you for the rest of your life.